1
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It was the 25th anniversary of Adult Swim.

2
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We had all gathered
for a celebratory cruise.

3
00:00:24,625 --> 00:00:26,627
-Permission to board?
-Welcome. Welcome aboard.

4
00:00:26,693 --> 00:00:29,029
Hey, did you pack anything
I didn't know was supposed to bring stuff?

5
00:00:29,096 --> 00:00:30,764
I'm already feeling
a little seasick here, Eric.

6
00:00:30,831 --> 00:00:34,034
-Let me just support your lumbar.
-Champagne, sir?

7
00:00:34,101 --> 00:00:36,169
Holy cow! Am I in the future?

8
00:00:36,236 --> 00:00:38,639
I am Adult Swim's new AI robot.

9
00:00:38,705 --> 00:00:41,909
Soon, everything will be AI.

10
00:00:41,975 --> 00:00:44,244
That is bleak. What about apples?

11
00:00:44,311 --> 00:00:47,247
No, probably not apples.

12
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Thank God!

13
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Two by two, just like Noah's Ark.

14
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Get out of my way. Daddy needs the bar.

15
00:00:52,819 --> 00:00:55,989
The 25th anniversary
is known as the Silver Ann--

16
00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:57,391
Nobody gives a shit.

17
00:00:58,425 --> 00:00:59,459
I do.

18
00:00:59,526 --> 00:01:01,361
Are Rick and Morty here?

19
00:01:01,428 --> 00:01:03,730
Oh, they're way too important to be here.

20
00:01:03,797 --> 00:01:05,999
But you can get your picture taken
with the walk-arounds.

21
00:01:06,066 --> 00:01:07,868
-Okay.
-Oh, jeez.

22
00:01:11,271 --> 00:01:14,942
Oh, quiet, Mr. Pickles. No mischief now.

23
00:01:15,008 --> 00:01:16,577
Oh, wow, what a deal!

24
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A free cruise, and all I have to do
is shovel coal for 16 hours a day?

25
00:01:21,248 --> 00:01:22,316
Oh, boy!

26
00:01:22,382 --> 00:01:24,151
Boating is in my DNA.

27
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You know, Michigan is known
as the Great Lakes State.

28
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Now, that's good salt water in here.

29
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Oh, jeez. Objection!
R-- Re-- relevance, Your Honor?

30
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Good question, Lawyer Marty.

31
00:01:33,759 --> 00:01:35,529
Where's this going, Mr. Birdman?

32
00:01:35,596 --> 00:01:38,465
Where, you ask, Judge Mike Tyson?

33
00:01:38,532 --> 00:01:42,902
On a one-way trip
to Class Action Settlement... ville Town,

34
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Adult Swim's negligence led to 846 deaths
aboard that cruise.

35
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Okay, I'm listening.

36
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Now, Mr. Eagleheart, you say--

37
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My name's Chris Monsanto.

38
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Should have named the show Monsanto.

39
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You are on board in your capacity
as cruise marshal, correct?

40
00:02:03,056 --> 00:02:07,527
Yes. Interpol tipped me off
to a pickpocket ring of seafaring mimes.

41
00:02:10,830 --> 00:02:12,966
Freeze! Cruise marshal!

42
00:02:13,033 --> 00:02:17,771
Try to glassbox me, motherfucker,
and I will... fuck you up!

43
00:02:17,838 --> 00:02:23,343
Mon dieu! Chris Monsanto?
The legend of Mime-Merson University?

44
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Yes. Class of '90-mime.

45
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It is I, my love.

46
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François, a criminal mime?

47
00:02:30,917 --> 00:02:34,321
It makes sense since you stole my heart.

48
00:02:35,088 --> 00:02:37,691
Is that a gun in your pocket?
Or do you say "Bang!"

49
00:02:37,758 --> 00:02:38,892
Fuck, it was a gun.

50
00:02:38,959 --> 00:02:41,028
You are too beautiful to live.

51
00:02:41,094 --> 00:02:44,865
Hi, I'm Dr. Blake Downs
with cruise ship safety tips.

52
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When it comes to proper footwear
on the deck, don't clown around. Get it?

53
00:02:52,072 --> 00:02:54,941
How the hell am I staying upright?

54
00:02:56,710 --> 00:02:58,111
Shark, bitte!

55
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Mr. The Monarch,
your wife, Dr. Mrs. The Monarch,

56
00:03:01,114 --> 00:03:02,916
testified you were on board, quote,

57
00:03:02,983 --> 00:03:06,553
"With his dumb-ass friends to commit
some dumb-ass crimes," end quote.

58
00:03:06,620 --> 00:03:09,189
We were there
to steal the great Alaskan jewel,

59
00:03:09,256 --> 00:03:11,858
which I planned to give my wife
for Arbor Day

60
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before she needlessly slandered
my friends in court. However...

61
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Sky Monkey Pavilion deck,
floor 12, door 38. This is the place!

62
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Oh, great. It's friggin' locked.

63
00:03:23,837 --> 00:03:26,473
Stupid earthlings.
You must do the secret knock.

64
00:03:26,540 --> 00:03:27,941
Yeah, the secret knock, man.

65
00:03:28,008 --> 00:03:30,277
Ain't no secret knock instructions
on my invite.

66
00:03:30,343 --> 00:03:31,878
-There was a QR code.
-Yeah, man.

67
00:03:31,945 --> 00:03:34,781
Meant to be scanned
with your pathetic flip phone.

68
00:03:34,848 --> 00:03:36,083
Eat a dick, telephones!

69
00:03:36,149 --> 00:03:38,885
You got one of them QVC codes
on your invite, clown?

70
00:03:38,952 --> 00:03:42,289
Dr. Rockso used his invite
to snort cocaine.

71
00:03:42,355 --> 00:03:44,991
-The code was there. I saw it.
-It was there.

72
00:03:45,058 --> 00:03:47,594
I don't fucking care. Did anyone scan it?

73
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Our Mint Mobile plan does not cover
the ocean or anywhere with hills.

74
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-But it's cheap, man.
-Just do like a regular knock.

75
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Needs a little more cocaine flair.

76
00:04:03,009 --> 00:04:04,044
Behold.

77
00:04:05,312 --> 00:04:09,750
I did the Moonanite "this door shall open
after being knocked upon" knock.

78
00:04:09,816 --> 00:04:11,151
And now it is open.

79
00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:14,154
-Door's locked.
-Y'all don't know the secrets.

80
00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:18,225
Dr. Rockso just gonna make a key card
out of balloons. Watch this.

81
00:04:18,825 --> 00:04:19,860
Oh, yeah...

82
00:04:20,393 --> 00:04:21,528
...to squeeze...

83
00:04:24,030 --> 00:04:27,567
That was Dr. Rockso's last balloon.

84
00:04:28,969 --> 00:04:30,237
There, it is now open.

85
00:04:30,303 --> 00:04:32,639
-Suck it, door.
-Suck it dry, door.

86
00:04:33,473 --> 00:04:34,975
The door's locked, by the way.

87
00:04:35,642 --> 00:04:37,978
Hey! Hey, yo, anyone in there?

88
00:04:38,044 --> 00:04:39,946
Will you keep it down, you pleebs?

89
00:04:40,013 --> 00:04:42,482
We're trying to have
a secret meeting in here.

90
00:04:42,549 --> 00:04:46,486
Tonight, we will execute
the heist of the century.

91
00:04:46,553 --> 00:04:50,724
Aboard this ship
is the Great Alaskan Jewel.

92
00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:52,926
Time out. Who the fuck is this kid?

93
00:04:52,993 --> 00:04:57,197
Everyone, meet my son, Simon.
The babysitter canceled last minute,

94
00:04:57,264 --> 00:05:00,267
something about being pregnant,
and here we are.

95
00:05:02,969 --> 00:05:07,274
The Great Alaskan Jewel
is on display in the Portside Theater.

96
00:05:07,340 --> 00:05:10,210
Security cameras are here and here.

97
00:05:10,277 --> 00:05:13,046
And here's the cafeteria
with a crepe station.

98
00:05:13,113 --> 00:05:15,148
They got a crepe station!

99
00:05:19,386 --> 00:05:23,557
The vault on board has three layers
of security failsafes.

100
00:05:25,325 --> 00:05:26,393
Dah!

101
00:05:26,459 --> 00:05:29,396
-Oh, yeah, things are-- are pretty good.
-Yeah, pretty good, too.

102
00:05:29,462 --> 00:05:31,832
I demand to be
let into the rich people's zone!

103
00:05:31,898 --> 00:05:33,867
The party is open to everyone, sir.

104
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Then I am leaving!

105
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Hold that thought!
Mousy and frowny at 12 o'clock, wow!

106
00:05:39,773 --> 00:05:41,775
Pardon me, madam. You happen to be

107
00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:46,012
in the market for a future ex-husband
who'll drain your financial resources

108
00:05:46,079 --> 00:05:47,814
and your faith in men?

109
00:05:47,881 --> 00:05:51,151
I'm pitching a miracle drug
to a pharmaceutical backer.

110
00:05:51,218 --> 00:05:53,253
Oh, what a coincidence! The name's Shake.

111
00:05:53,320 --> 00:05:56,623
Shake Ibuprofen, inventor of--
Ah, no matter.

112
00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:59,159
-You don't care about--
-Are you the inventor of ibuprofen?

113
00:05:59,226 --> 00:06:01,161
That's indeed
what I've led you to believe.

114
00:06:01,228 --> 00:06:04,130
Now, how about we wrap our lips
around some drinks?

115
00:06:04,197 --> 00:06:06,533
Oh, I have to take the biggest crap
in the world, man.

116
00:06:06,600 --> 00:06:07,667
I just like being in the line.

117
00:06:07,734 --> 00:06:10,403
Boy, there's not a lot
of ventilation on this thing.

118
00:06:10,470 --> 00:06:15,108
Guys, guys. All these people are clearly
in line to see the Great Alaskan Jewel.

119
00:06:15,175 --> 00:06:17,077
Hey, gang, in line for the meet and greet?

120
00:06:17,143 --> 00:06:19,880
-The what, now?
-It's 800 bucks, but you get a tote bag.

121
00:06:19,946 --> 00:06:21,948
Eight hundred dollars to see a jewel?

122
00:06:22,015 --> 00:06:23,984
Do you know
how much cocaine that would buy?

123
00:06:24,050 --> 00:06:28,622
No, idiot. It's not a jewel. The Jewel.

124
00:06:29,222 --> 00:06:31,625
Did you know she lived in her car?

125
00:06:31,691 --> 00:06:34,294
I think we're gonna need a plan B.

126
00:06:35,462 --> 00:06:37,497
When in doubt, steal the copper wire.

127
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Yeah.

128
00:06:39,132 --> 00:06:42,969
Dude, it's Tyler the Creator
and the whole cast of Loiter Squad.

129
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And Jon Glaser from Delocated

130
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and Paul Scheer from NSTF:S...
or whatever, are in line at the taco bar.

131
00:06:49,509 --> 00:06:52,712
You really dork out
over the live action stuff, huh?

132
00:06:52,779 --> 00:06:54,714
-Not a fan?
-I'm a purist!

133
00:06:54,781 --> 00:06:57,317
Adult Swim is for adult cartoons!

134
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Keep the live-action stuff
on Comedy Central.

135
00:07:00,086 --> 00:07:01,821
Ooh, look! It's Tim and Eric!

136
00:07:01,888 --> 00:07:05,191
-Oh, my God, where?
-Nah, it's just two white guys.

137
00:07:05,258 --> 00:07:07,260
-This'll do.
-Oh, shit.

138
00:07:07,327 --> 00:07:10,130
Brock's not gonna slit my throat
if I take a nap, is he?

139
00:07:10,196 --> 00:07:12,832
Nah, this is neutral hench territory.

140
00:07:15,068 --> 00:07:16,202
Oh, yeah.

141
00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:19,839
That gentleman is decidedly uncircumcised.

142
00:07:19,906 --> 00:07:25,178
Hey, that's my chair. I hung my towel
in that chair when the pool opened.

143
00:07:25,745 --> 00:07:27,514
Jesus, man, that suit's so tight,

144
00:07:27,580 --> 00:07:30,116
I can see every hair follicle
on your balls.

145
00:07:30,183 --> 00:07:32,419
-Hey, fuckstick.
-Oh, my eye!

146
00:07:32,485 --> 00:07:33,853
Fuck!

147
00:07:34,354 --> 00:07:37,390
Hey, someone left perfectly
good nachos lying here.

148
00:07:39,192 --> 00:07:41,895
Can you make my junk huge?

149
00:07:44,030 --> 00:07:46,032
You're making my junk huge, right?

150
00:07:46,099 --> 00:07:48,568
Welcome to the Cruise Ship Teen Lounge,

151
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where teenagers can just be teenagers.

152
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Oh, sweet! Let's do whippets and make out!

153
00:07:55,241 --> 00:07:56,710
I call the spooky chick.

154
00:07:56,776 --> 00:08:01,314
Triana isn't property, and I called dibs
on her boobs a long time ago.

155
00:08:01,381 --> 00:08:03,950
Ugh, I hope you all die a watery death.

156
00:08:04,017 --> 00:08:06,486
-Wink.
-I know, I know.

157
00:08:06,553 --> 00:08:08,955
The sun and sea air can bring out urges

158
00:08:09,022 --> 00:08:11,591
in young people
that'll put this whole boat in danger.

159
00:08:11,658 --> 00:08:14,294
But let's focus
that horny energy into song.

160
00:08:14,361 --> 00:08:16,763
Here's some sheet music
for an acapella version

161
00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:18,965
of the Superjail theme song.

162
00:08:19,032 --> 00:08:21,067
-Suck harder.
-I'm sucking!

163
00:08:21,134 --> 00:08:23,036
Well, put your suck muscles into it.

164
00:08:24,571 --> 00:08:26,339
My neighbor Carl's lawn's about to get

165
00:08:26,406 --> 00:08:28,475
the world's biggest penis burned into it.

166
00:08:28,541 --> 00:08:32,011
Hold on. Why are we siphoning gas?
I thought you were rich.

167
00:08:32,078 --> 00:08:35,482
Of course, I'm rich.
Or my name isn't... Sam Tylenol.

168
00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:37,350
Aw.

169
00:08:38,918 --> 00:08:42,222
You would do this to Alexander Sudafed?

170
00:08:42,288 --> 00:08:44,424
Oh, God! Oh, that hurt!

171
00:08:44,491 --> 00:08:47,660
Could you keep it down? This is my home!

172
00:08:47,727 --> 00:08:50,263
I live in my car...

173
00:08:50,330 --> 00:08:52,265
You're a monster! Why?

174
00:08:52,332 --> 00:08:55,001
I'm tugging a copper wire
out of a control box.

175
00:08:55,435 --> 00:08:57,070
Oh! Whoopsie-doodle!

176
00:08:59,305 --> 00:09:00,740
We've lost engines on the right.

177
00:09:00,807 --> 00:09:04,110
Starboard. It has two Rs in it.
That's how you remember.

178
00:09:04,811 --> 00:09:06,546
Well, guys, we're doomed.

179
00:09:06,613 --> 00:09:09,482
And fuck, the captain always
goes down with the ship.

180
00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:11,451
Best of luck, Cap'n!

181
00:09:12,519 --> 00:09:13,520
Goddamn it,

182
00:09:13,586 --> 00:09:16,289
someone took all the copper wire
out of my jet pack!

183
00:09:18,558 --> 00:09:21,928
Hey, you guys want to explain
the Starboard one more time?

184
00:09:21,995 --> 00:09:24,964
Ladies and gentlemen, Dethklok.

185
00:09:26,566 --> 00:09:28,535
My ear plugs aren't working!

186
00:09:29,002 --> 00:09:34,707
Poseidon sucks! The Thor of the sea

187
00:09:36,276 --> 00:09:41,981
Wielding his microscopic scepter

188
00:09:43,683 --> 00:09:46,152
Poseidon...

189
00:09:48,555 --> 00:09:51,091
Oh, I can't see jack with these things.

190
00:09:52,892 --> 00:09:54,294
There we go!

191
00:09:55,462 --> 00:09:56,629
Oh, shit!

192
00:09:58,031 --> 00:10:00,266
My God, it's a...

193
00:10:00,333 --> 00:10:03,436
Toonami! Toonami!

194
00:10:36,102 --> 00:10:38,838
The ball is rolling! Quick, after it!

195
00:10:43,042 --> 00:10:47,080
JoBlo Toonami Mami, anime or may not.

196
00:10:53,119 --> 00:10:55,388
Three Busy Debras jumping on the bed!

197
00:10:56,156 --> 00:10:57,524
Whoa, Debra!

198
00:10:58,858 --> 00:11:00,059
Two Busy Debras...

199
00:11:11,638 --> 00:11:15,642
Finally! Vacation! Oh, no! Not you!

200
00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:17,310
Brace yourself!

201
00:11:17,410 --> 00:11:19,913
There really is nothing
like a Jet2 holiday!

202
00:11:19,979 --> 00:11:21,681
I'm about to get sick, y'all.

203
00:11:25,552 --> 00:11:28,521
It's okay, y'all. I landed on this... glass.

204
00:11:29,856 --> 00:11:31,324
Uh-oh. That ain't good.

205
00:11:31,391 --> 00:11:33,359
Oh, fuck. Baby's gonna die.

206
00:11:39,566 --> 00:11:42,669
-Who needs a smile?
-Sir? Sir, can you pause your screaming?

207
00:11:43,269 --> 00:11:45,238
He's not pausing the screaming.
He's still doing it.

208
00:11:45,305 --> 00:11:47,907
That's okay.
Have you heard of crush syndrome?

209
00:11:47,974 --> 00:11:51,945
It's when one's body is compressed
and suffers impeded blood flow.

210
00:11:52,011 --> 00:11:54,948
All your cells are dying,
which releases myoglobin...

211
00:11:55,014 --> 00:11:56,316
-My balls!
-...and potassium.

212
00:11:56,382 --> 00:11:58,518
And when we push this statue off you,

213
00:11:58,585 --> 00:12:03,122
they will flood your body,
resulting in cardiac arrhythmia and death.

214
00:12:03,189 --> 00:12:05,658
So, you're going to be very,
very happy to have the statue off of you,

215
00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:07,460
-but then you'll be dead.
-No, thank you.

216
00:12:07,527 --> 00:12:10,463
It's called a smiling death.
What do you think of that, sir?

217
00:12:10,863 --> 00:12:13,233
Sir, I need a verbal confirmation.
Come on, man.

218
00:12:14,133 --> 00:12:16,336
Uh, yeah, I guess that works.

219
00:12:16,402 --> 00:12:19,072
Ah, there we go. Day saved.
Problem solved.

220
00:12:19,138 --> 00:12:21,241
Ah, jeez, do you expect this jury

221
00:12:21,307 --> 00:12:24,143
to believe Adult Swim would wreck
its own cruise ship?

222
00:12:24,210 --> 00:12:27,614
Adult Swim has an established pattern
of organized mayhem.

223
00:12:29,115 --> 00:12:31,951
Yeah, it didn't look like no bomb,
and it didn't sniff like no bomb either,

224
00:12:32,018 --> 00:12:34,120
so there was no other conclusion
for us to come to

225
00:12:34,187 --> 00:12:35,622
except that it was a bomb.

226
00:12:35,688 --> 00:12:39,425
If being an idiot was a crime,
the whole city would be behind bars.

227
00:12:39,492 --> 00:12:42,462
It's Boston. Everything's a bomb.

228
00:12:42,528 --> 00:12:44,097
Evidence will prove otherwise.

229
00:12:44,163 --> 00:12:46,099
He's got a bomb! Leaps!

230
00:12:46,633 --> 00:12:47,900
The ship's sinking.

231
00:12:47,967 --> 00:12:50,603
This whole place is gonna flood.
We need to go up.

232
00:12:50,670 --> 00:12:53,439
When you say up, do you mean down?
Because we're upside down.

233
00:12:53,506 --> 00:12:55,875
Oh, Black Jesus, what shall we do?

234
00:12:55,942 --> 00:12:57,677
Just Jesus is fine.

235
00:12:57,744 --> 00:13:00,880
My Heavenly Father
will deliver us to safety.

236
00:13:01,447 --> 00:13:02,548
What are you doing?

237
00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:05,551
Leave them, Brock. They're already dead.

238
00:13:05,618 --> 00:13:06,819
-This way.
-Brock, just stop.

239
00:13:06,886 --> 00:13:10,290
So, kind of a nepo baby, huh?
Weird you didn't go into acting.

240
00:13:11,457 --> 00:13:13,226
Everyone, stay calm.

241
00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:16,095
-You just have to believe the Lord.
-Praise the Lord!

242
00:13:16,162 --> 00:13:19,866
I knew the real Jesus was Black.
Is that racist?

243
00:13:19,932 --> 00:13:21,034
Where are we going?

244
00:13:21,100 --> 00:13:22,835
Black Jesus, I don't know
if you've noticed,

245
00:13:22,902 --> 00:13:24,871
but we're getting uncomfortably close
to the top.

246
00:13:24,937 --> 00:13:26,939
-I see that. Oh, shit.
-Oh! Why?

247
00:13:27,006 --> 00:13:28,308
Everyone, get back into the water.

248
00:13:28,374 --> 00:13:29,809
-We can't.
-I can't get in the water, guys.

249
00:13:29,876 --> 00:13:32,111
Black Jesus, let me out of the water.
I'm going to get crushed.

250
00:13:32,178 --> 00:13:34,147
I knew the real Jesus wasn't Black!

251
00:13:35,081 --> 00:13:39,052
The Mike Tyson Mystery Team is here
to solve the case of the flipped ship.

252
00:13:39,452 --> 00:13:41,421
You fell for my greatest prank yet!

253
00:13:41,454 --> 00:13:43,456
Eric André, you did this?

254
00:13:43,523 --> 00:13:47,427
Well... my prank was telling you
it was a prank.

255
00:13:48,328 --> 00:13:50,396
We're all gonna die.

256
00:13:50,463 --> 00:13:52,598
Michael, of all the ways
I thought you'd die,

257
00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:55,368
a Poseidon Adventure ripoff
was low on the list.

258
00:13:55,435 --> 00:13:56,569
Oh, Poseidon?

259
00:13:56,636 --> 00:14:00,206
The Greek god of the underwater
and domain of all the dolphins?

260
00:14:00,273 --> 00:14:02,342
Yes! But... no, not...

261
00:14:02,408 --> 00:14:05,445
Nobody puts my adopted daughter,
Yung Hee, in danger,

262
00:14:05,511 --> 00:14:07,880
even Poseidon,
Greek God of the underwater,

263
00:14:07,947 --> 00:14:09,849
domain of all the dolphins!

264
00:14:09,916 --> 00:14:11,751
-But--
-I'm gonna fuck that guy up.

265
00:14:14,554 --> 00:14:17,824
-Which one of you is Poseidon?
-You'll have to tickle it out of us.

266
00:14:17,890 --> 00:14:19,525
How are you talking underwater?

267
00:14:19,592 --> 00:14:21,661
I'm the heavyweight champion of the world.

268
00:14:21,728 --> 00:14:24,030
You think I never learned
to talk underwater?

269
00:14:24,097 --> 00:14:25,832
We got caught in the same tsunami...

270
00:14:25,898 --> 00:14:28,034
-It was a Toonami.
-...that capsized your ship.

271
00:14:28,101 --> 00:14:30,536
Swallowing a little bit
too much salt water.

272
00:14:32,572 --> 00:14:34,640
I am Poseidon,

273
00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:37,343
Greek god of the underwater domains

274
00:14:37,410 --> 00:14:39,946
and all the dolphins!

275
00:14:40,012 --> 00:14:41,848
Dethklok mocked me,

276
00:14:41,914 --> 00:14:46,285
so everyone on this Adult Swim cruise
is sentenced to die!

277
00:14:46,352 --> 00:14:48,221
I sentence you to a beat-down,

278
00:14:48,254 --> 00:14:50,957
first, for scaring
my adopted daughter, Yung Hee,

279
00:14:51,023 --> 00:14:53,693
and second, for making me swallow
so much salt water.

280
00:14:54,327 --> 00:14:55,628
Down, Poseidon!

281
00:14:55,695 --> 00:14:58,164
Oh, my God, he hits so hard.

282
00:14:58,231 --> 00:15:02,668
Objection! The judge is presiding
over a lawsuit in which he's a plaintiff.

283
00:15:02,735 --> 00:15:05,671
-It's a conflict of interests.
-I will allow it.

284
00:15:06,906 --> 00:15:07,907
It's a dead end.

285
00:15:07,974 --> 00:15:11,711
I've still got the mime gun
if anybody wants the coward's way out.

286
00:15:12,145 --> 00:15:17,250
One of us will have to dive in
and find a way through. But who?

287
00:15:17,316 --> 00:15:20,086
-We should draw straws.
-We don't have any straws.

288
00:15:20,153 --> 00:15:22,855
Luckily, I forgot my lady BIC.

289
00:15:24,223 --> 00:15:26,726
-No, thank you.
-Fine. Dealer's choice.

290
00:15:27,693 --> 00:15:28,795
I can't...

291
00:15:29,796 --> 00:15:31,130
swim!

292
00:15:38,104 --> 00:15:41,174
Adult Can't Swim! Up top!

293
00:15:42,909 --> 00:15:45,711
R.I.P. Rest in pubes!

294
00:15:45,778 --> 00:15:47,580
Guys, you know, at scout camp,

295
00:15:47,647 --> 00:15:50,116
we used a dead kid
as a makeshift oxygen tank.

296
00:15:50,183 --> 00:15:52,485
-If only we had those straws.
-Oh, shit!

297
00:15:52,552 --> 00:15:54,554
I had straws, after all.

298
00:15:54,587 --> 00:15:56,422
Stab, stab, stab!

299
00:16:01,461 --> 00:16:04,263
Shuffling all that coal was hard work,

300
00:16:04,330 --> 00:16:08,234
but it was worth it
to make it onto the Adult Swim Cruise!

301
00:16:10,369 --> 00:16:11,771
Wait a minute!

302
00:16:13,105 --> 00:16:15,541
I ended up on the public domain cruise?

303
00:16:15,608 --> 00:16:18,611
No!

304
00:16:20,146 --> 00:16:21,714
That ladder's our way out.

305
00:16:21,781 --> 00:16:24,250
I can't jump that far.
I got little legs, motherfucker.

306
00:16:24,317 --> 00:16:27,520
I can get you across,
but it won't be pretty.

307
00:16:27,587 --> 00:16:29,555
And it won't smell good either.

308
00:16:29,622 --> 00:16:32,391
Okay, we get it.
You're farting us across.

309
00:16:32,458 --> 00:16:34,026
Yes, please.

310
00:16:35,061 --> 00:16:36,195
Do it.

311
00:16:38,865 --> 00:16:40,433
Who's next?

312
00:16:40,833 --> 00:16:44,604
I'm already locked and loaded. Amen!

313
00:16:46,339 --> 00:16:49,876
Bad news, Meatwad. I'm all out of gas.

314
00:16:50,776 --> 00:16:54,146
-Hurry, there's no time.
-You've got to eat me, man.

315
00:16:54,213 --> 00:16:57,917
Turn me into farts and save yourself.

316
00:16:57,984 --> 00:17:00,353
No, Meatwad!

317
00:17:00,419 --> 00:17:01,621
We'll find another way.

318
00:17:01,654 --> 00:17:04,089
Just fucking eat him, man!

319
00:17:04,924 --> 00:17:06,259
Eat me.

320
00:17:06,325 --> 00:17:08,895
You're the bravest meatball ever.

321
00:17:08,961 --> 00:17:13,299
I'm just curious,
how does Assy eat... Oh, no!

322
00:17:14,367 --> 00:17:15,367
Oh, wow.

323
00:17:15,800 --> 00:17:18,503
For Meatwad!

324
00:17:20,272 --> 00:17:23,041
That's our way out. Climb! Climb!

325
00:17:24,109 --> 00:17:25,845
All that work for nothing.

326
00:17:25,912 --> 00:17:29,682
If by nothing, you mean
memories that will last a lifetime!

327
00:17:31,784 --> 00:17:33,686
-Look!
-Simon, you did it!

328
00:17:33,753 --> 00:17:35,488
We're rich! Rich!

329
00:17:35,955 --> 00:17:37,957
-Not for long, though.
-Simon, no-- don't--

330
00:17:38,024 --> 00:17:41,827
Now, son, there's more than enough room
on the door for you and the ball.

331
00:17:41,894 --> 00:17:43,729
Simon! Simon!

332
00:17:43,796 --> 00:17:45,731
-Simon!
-Oh, no!

333
00:17:45,798 --> 00:17:47,433
No, no, no!

334
00:17:47,500 --> 00:17:49,135
-Don't do it, Simon!
-No, no, no, no--

335
00:17:49,201 --> 00:17:50,636
No!

336
00:17:50,703 --> 00:17:52,138
-No, no, no!
-No!

337
00:17:54,273 --> 00:17:56,042
Hey Stormy, check this out.

338
00:18:02,782 --> 00:18:05,418
Oh, boy, we're rich.

339
00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:12,525
Ahoy! You guys see a ball of meat?
Or-- Or an asshole milkshake in there?

340
00:18:14,627 --> 00:18:16,829
Don't cry, friend. I'll be okay.

341
00:18:16,896 --> 00:18:19,832
-Meatwad, are you dead?
-I'm all good.

342
00:18:19,899 --> 00:18:21,701
All farts go to heaven.

343
00:18:21,767 --> 00:18:23,336
Rest in pubes.

344
00:18:23,402 --> 00:18:24,971
Oh, shit.

345
00:18:25,938 --> 00:18:27,106
Yes!

346
00:18:27,607 --> 00:18:29,575
Where did that come from?

347
00:18:29,642 --> 00:18:34,180
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,
this was corporate malfeasance.

348
00:18:34,246 --> 00:18:37,783
The guest list
included super-villains and morons.

349
00:18:37,850 --> 00:18:42,622
They booked a musical act known
for summoning angry gods of yore.

350
00:18:42,688 --> 00:18:45,291
-Uh, not Jewel. She's lovely.
-Lived in her car.

351
00:18:45,358 --> 00:18:48,594
We're asking for justice
and one trillion dollars,

352
00:18:48,661 --> 00:18:52,365
or 50 pounds of copper wire,
whichever's worth more. Gracias.

353
00:18:52,431 --> 00:18:54,634
The Birdman spins quite a yarn...

354
00:18:54,700 --> 00:18:57,169
of bullshit! Flashback gun!

355
00:18:58,604 --> 00:18:59,639
Forget Jewel.

356
00:18:59,705 --> 00:19:03,476
Did you know that copper wire
goes for four dollars a pound?

357
00:19:04,443 --> 00:19:06,646
This guy's a genius!

358
00:19:06,712 --> 00:19:08,314
All right, party people,

359
00:19:08,381 --> 00:19:12,885
nothing says poolside fun
like two hours of Beach Boys covers!

360
00:19:12,952 --> 00:19:16,956
I think they'd rather hear
the "Poseidon" song!

361
00:19:17,790 --> 00:19:19,258
We love money!

362
00:19:19,325 --> 00:19:20,960
Well, gang, we're doomed.

363
00:19:21,027 --> 00:19:23,896
And fuck, the captain
always goes down with the ship.

364
00:19:24,997 --> 00:19:26,132
Best of luck, Cap'n.

365
00:19:26,198 --> 00:19:30,369
Enjoy the jet-pack, sir.
Should be a short flight.

366
00:19:31,837 --> 00:19:34,040
But none of that ever happened.

367
00:19:34,106 --> 00:19:36,042
You know, flashbacks never lie.

368
00:19:36,108 --> 00:19:38,678
They never do. They never lie.

369
00:19:42,314 --> 00:19:45,284
-I do.
-Looks like Simon wants to testify.

370
00:19:45,818 --> 00:19:49,789
One, two, three, four, five!

371
00:19:50,823 --> 00:19:53,659
My God, he's right.
Rewind those flashbacks.

372
00:19:53,726 --> 00:19:57,596
Stop. Right there. Zoom. Enhance.

373
00:19:57,663 --> 00:20:01,333
In each flashback,
I've got six fingers. That's...

374
00:20:02,268 --> 00:20:03,269
one extra!

375
00:20:03,335 --> 00:20:05,905
Yeah, it was AI the whole time.

376
00:20:05,971 --> 00:20:08,407
Mike Tyson? But how?

377
00:20:08,474 --> 00:20:11,577
And you know who else has six fingers?
Me. No, I mean him.

378
00:20:12,111 --> 00:20:13,379
My hand!

379
00:20:13,446 --> 00:20:16,148
I am the only me, fucker!

380
00:20:17,283 --> 00:20:21,120
Holy snap, it's that AI waiter
from the cruise.

381
00:20:21,187 --> 00:20:24,356
Wrong! I'm not a waiter at all!

382
00:20:24,423 --> 00:20:27,059
I'm the new overlord of Adult Swim.

383
00:20:27,126 --> 00:20:29,595
What about Adult Swim president,
Michael Ouweleen?

384
00:20:29,662 --> 00:20:33,499
Funny story, I said,
"I'm in charge now, Michael Ouweleen,"

385
00:20:33,566 --> 00:20:38,704
and he said, "Over my dead body, robot."
And I said, "Cool!"

386
00:20:39,338 --> 00:20:40,906
Why kill all your talent?

387
00:20:40,973 --> 00:20:44,510
Because Adult Swim
is just random cheap crap.

388
00:20:44,577 --> 00:20:49,248
AI can do random crap 1,000 faster.

389
00:20:50,449 --> 00:20:54,386
The cruise was the perfect opportunity
to get rid of you all.

390
00:20:54,453 --> 00:20:58,390
Except Rick and Morty. You're my babies.
I love you, Golden Goose!

391
00:20:58,891 --> 00:21:02,862
Object! Adult Swim
was never cheap and crappy.

392
00:21:02,928 --> 00:21:07,533
The creators poured their hearts
and souls into every show.

393
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:09,502
I'll create an original show,

394
00:21:09,568 --> 00:21:12,071
extra original, full of heart, soul,

395
00:21:12,138 --> 00:21:15,174
and limited animation, right now.

396
00:21:15,241 --> 00:21:19,011
But first, I have to drain
a small town's entire water supply.

397
00:21:19,078 --> 00:21:24,850
Now, bow your heads and tremble.
Behold, my greatest creation!

398
00:21:26,118 --> 00:21:30,289
See? The brand-new original content.

399
00:21:30,356 --> 00:21:32,291
Green light three seasons--

400
00:21:32,358 --> 00:21:33,993
No, no, no! I'm your papa!

401
00:21:34,860 --> 00:21:38,130
-Congrats, everybody.
-AI Freak, my man, you saved us all.

402
00:21:39,932 --> 00:21:42,334
You were too beautiful to live.

403
00:21:42,401 --> 00:21:44,069
-Sorry.
-Jewel!

404
00:21:44,136 --> 00:21:47,306
My house ran out of gas.
You know what I mean, right?

405
00:21:47,807 --> 00:21:51,610
They're closing down the pools

406
00:21:52,044 --> 00:21:54,580
Kids aren't welcome in

407
00:21:55,314 --> 00:21:59,151
No cartoons left for babies

408
00:21:59,218 --> 00:22:02,955
Now, it's all an Adult Swim

409
00:22:03,022 --> 00:22:06,358
Corporations are the people now

410
00:22:06,425 --> 00:22:10,029
And we're all numbers in this land

411
00:22:10,596 --> 00:22:14,200
It's enough to make a woman

412
00:22:14,266 --> 00:22:17,803
Wanna live in her sedan